


An Adventure

by FairyNiamh



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M, cursed item, shinanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk has an unexpected adventure, thanks to a tricky Admiral. (Don't take this too seriously.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Adventure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tkeyla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkeyla/gifts).



> Written for T'Key'La's birthday.

Kirk blinked slowly as his First Mate withdrew an overlarge pocket watch from his vest before declaring he was late... before hopping, yes, fucking hopping, off the bridge. 

This was so very out of character for the man. First, hopping, the hopping cannot be stressed enough. Second, Spock is _never_ late. Third, where the hell did the pocket watch and vest come from? Kirk would lay odds on him even being on time for his conception.

Next, Chekov and Sulu hooked arms and started to bounce up and done, while singing... something. Hell if he could tell what they were saying. It was in English, but it made as much sense as a bee making vinegar.

Bones rushed in, looking for tea and an un-birthday party, only for Uhura to jump up and declare today was _her_ un-birthday as well. Which, of course meant those two skipped off the bridge, Kirk could only assume to celebrate.

He pinched himself, hard, and yup, that hurt like hell. It wasn't a dream. The Enterprise had not gone through any nebulas, went up against any demi-gods, been to any unknown springs, so what the fuck was happening to his crew?

Why were they behaving like they came straight out of a storybook? Wait, storybook. Admiral Komack had sent him a gift. An antique book, which he had said was 'simply enchanting'. Could his current issues truly stem from a harmless book?

"Computer, locate Commander Spock."

"Commander Spock is in Shuttlepod 1701-1 in hanger 4."

"Computer! Seal all hangers and no one is to beam off of this ship until I give permission. Total Ship Lockdown. Kirk: Authorization Code: 10951-Alpha, Foxtrot."

"Command confirmed."

Kirk looked at the chaotic bridge and then cursed as he made his way to his quarters. Could his love of books truly be the cause of this mess? Never mind that it had been Komack who had sent the book. He was the one to accept it and had not even run it through any of the normal security channels. Trusting the man who had tried to have him removed once before.

How could he be so stupid? Pike had even warned him that the man had seemed far too proud of himself as of late. When he entered his cabin, he located the book and a phaser. Setting the phaser to kill, he shot the ancient copy of _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_.

Nothing happened. Just, a bare singe on the leather binding. With a soft curse he made his way to the nearest teleporter pad. Lady Luck must have finally smiled on him, as it was empty. He set the book on the pad and stepped back to the controls.

"Computer, please, teleport this book away from the Enterprise, away from any living being," he panted as he set the coordinates and took a deep breath as the accursed book disappeared from his ship.

He closed his eyes and prayed that it had truly been the problem.

"Captain, is everything satisfactory?"

Kirk smiled at the somber tones of his first mate and husband. "Yeah, how are you?"

"I am confused. I appear to be captive in the hanger bay. Might I enquire as to why?"

"I'll explain everything later. Just wait in there for a bit. I need to make sure everything is back to normal. Kirk out."

He whistled as he made his way back to the bridge. He saw Uhura and McCoy, looking confused and obviously drunk out of their skulls.

"Bones," he called cheerfully.

"I'm not drunk enough to deal with you," the older man complained.

"You two shouldn’t be drunk at all. You're both on duty. Sober up."

He would have to go down to sick bay later for something for his approaching headache. He missed the days where all you had to worry about were Klingons and Romulans. He made mental note to never accept gifts from smiling sharks (or tricky Admirals).

He wouldn't unlock the ship until he was sure everyone was safe and sound. The joys of being a captain included the pain of being a captain.

~Fin~


End file.
